As in The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13), my heart was hard. At first the words I heard about Jesus just fell to the ground to be lost forever, like the seeds that the farmer scattered and fell onto the path and the birds came and ate it up. Throughout this time, my life continued with its trials & tribulations. Not once did I give any thought as to why, it was just my bad luck - my lot in life - the hand I had been dealt.

   " Then God started putting Christians in my path. "

    I would listen to them, hear their praises and even join in their conversations. I would start to give thought to what they were saying, but like the seed that fell on rocky places, there was no root for it to grow.

    Almost a year ago, God must have gotten tired of my foolishness, because my life went into a tailspin. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and put on medication. At first this medication made me feel great, I believed it had solved my problem. I had convinced myself that the medication had given me the strength to force my husband into an alcoholic abuse center. When he returned home, we realized that it would take something or someone stronger than us to repair the damage that had been done.

    "We decided to find a church."

    We become active, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and was baptized. I got so hungry for the Word of God. I could see, okay great, but no, God was not through with me. Two months after I was Baptized, I got complacent about God's Word. I still attended church regularly, and enjoyed discussing Him with other people. But the intensity wasn't there; I did not spend as much time with Bible or praying. It was almost as if it had become a chore instead of a pleasure. This is the seed that fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.

    "The thorn I came to realize was my job."

    I believed that I was destined to be there, having left two times previously, and anxiously returning (to), the job "my god". I worshiped it, idolized it, it was my safe haven. I would schedule the rest of my life around what was happening at work. Of course, I had not realized that I had put my job in God's place.

    Being the gracious person that He is, God released me from my bondage. The process was very painful, at first I was hurt and angry with what was happening to me. I could not understand how I could go from being one of the star players at work, to someone who wasn't fit to sit on the sidelines. The medication that I was on was supposed to cure the depression; instead it seemed to throw me into a deeper depression, making me completely neurotic. I was not able to concentrate or function at my job responsibilities. I was constantly in tears. I started having trouble with a new employee at work; and this made the situation that much worse.

    We went round and round for what seemed like hours and finally out of nowhere I heard myself say - "it is time just call it quits." At first I thought I was really going to lose it, then this amazing calm came over me. For the first time I was at peace.

    Over the next week, God really went to work on my heart, and I started to understand what had been happening to me.

"God was trying to get my attention."

    Can you imagine a God so loving and caring that He would want a simple person's attention? I wasn't famous. I do not have a lot of money. I am just me. What a wonderful revelation, that God loves you so much and all he wants is to be a part of your life. Anyone, no matter your social status, bank account, or title, all he wants is you.

    After my devastation at work, I was hurt beyond belief. This was not a job to me: I had an emotional attachment. When that was ripped away from me, I felt like a part of me was being ripped way. But, thanks be to God...

"He showed me that people couldn't hurt me."

    The only way I could ever be hurt is if my salvation and faith was ripped away, and that is not possible. Since I have accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, he dwells within me and nothing will make him leave for He promises to never leave me nor forsake me. Praise God!

    Since my heart had been changed, I started having revelations; revelations about the people around me and about myself. I realized that God created me, he chose me. He wants to give me so much, and all he asks is that I Love and Praise him. What a small price to pay for peace, joy, eternal life, and so many other gifts.

"Everyday God gives more of Himself without asking more from me."

    I cannot imagine what it would be like not to be a child of Christ, NOW! Finally my heart is healed and like the farmer who sowed seed in good dirt and his crop flourished; my faith and love of Christ grows by leaps and bounds each day, and just like the farmer I am bearing much fruit.

"AMEN"