To..."I just had to finish that Beer"

  You are probably asking yourself what does BEER have to do with the other things we have shared with you on this website?  Well, that's when everything started to change in and around my life. Let me explain...

       The following is...My Life...what is was and now is...



       I was living with my brother and his family in a small town located in the mountains in Northwest Pa.  I was in my early 20's, and life was A Big Party, so I thought. At that time I believed as long as I didn't hurt anyone I was ok. Well, I was wrong and I did hurt other's, not on purpose and really not thinking I was.
Yes, I was young, alone, and was just wanting and needing someone, anyone, to just Love me. I was so empty and I would try to fill that deep emptiness with whatever and whoever came my way.

        Looking back a few years earlier in life when I was sixteen, I was trying to (as most 16 yr. olds do) "Fit In". One night I was handed a joint. "Why not?" I asked myself, everybody else is and they seem ok. So, I went for it and I liked it! As time went on I needed more, and my "friends" had it all. I tried anything they would give me. Yes, I said give me, from Pot to Beer to Vodka to Speed to pcp to Acid to Coke to Meth to Angeldust to Qualudes to... any drug but, I would not shoot it in my arm...like that really mattered. I was wasted all the time, it was very easy to be, my "friends" took very good care of me...hmmm...??? Not blaming them, just trying to make a point here. Now, going back to my early 20's.

       I started sleeping with a married man. I thought he loved me and would leave his wife for me...(was I hurting anyone?) I didn't think so, it was her fault she didn't take care of her husband. Because if she did...why was he with me...?


     Now for "I just had to finish that beer"...The married man decided to stay with his wife and I had been used and abused by men before...(their fault?), so I just gave up.I had a bottle of prescription pills and I just could not take any more, life was not worth living...down went the whole bottle of pills. As I was tilting the bottle to my mouth, my sister-in-law was walking down the hallway towards me saying"NO!!!"
My response was "too late" and they were swallowed. Immediately she called 911.When the ambulance got to the house I was drinking my last beer...I told them,"I will not come with you until I finish this beer", Hence the name of this page. And they had no choice but, to wait.

     When I woke up the following morning I was in a padded room with a straight jacket on...and I was very angry...why didn't I die or even get my stomach pumped? I stayed in the hospital for about a week. The doctor's were very kind to me...yes...you guessed it...more drugs...but, these were "legal". So I was sent back out into this world "legally" wasted. Thinking to myself, the joke is on them.

     Then in October of 1981, which was a few months after the episode of the " I just had to finish that beer". My brother and his wife started going to church, they too were doing the "drug thing." I was not interested at all, being raised Catholic, I didn't get the church thing at all. But, eventually they asked me to "give it a try". What the heck, I've always tried things before when asked,what could I lose? So when Sunday morning came I went with the family. 

      Minding my own business and not really paying attention to anything or anyone. Seated in a pew with my brother,his wife, and my three nieces. The Pastor started talking, to my amazement, it seemed as if he were talking only to me. I could not believe what he was saying..." You and your Budwieser "(how did he know I was drinking beer and that it was Budwieser) ? Then the next sentence,"You need to turn away from the drugs and lifesyle, that you are now living."  I looked around to see if anyone else seemed as ashamed as I did. No one...just me, myself and I. How could this man know what I was doing? My brother didn't tell him, nor his wife. Surely, I hid it enough from my nieces, that they didn't know, it couldn't have been them. As he kept talking I held on to every word. The last, was the most Amazing.

     Since that Day I have been a different person...Now, don't get me wrong. There were times in my life when I thought, I'll take care of this part God. I'll call You when I need You. But, I came had to make a choice that only I could make. I have made some very bad decisions and I will still make mistakes but, this one was life or death.
   You see, we are all looking for something and/or someone. It's in our nature. We try to fill that empty place in our hearts with all kinds of "things". But, the Truth is...
All we have to realize is GOD is the One who put it there. And GOD is the Only One who can fill the desire that we try to fill on our own.

  In 1985  I moved to Florida. I was not sure why at the time. My parents had moved to Fla. in 1981 and were constantly asking me to move there to start anew.So finally I agreed to move there. When I did I had only 2 or 3 suitcases of clothes...nothing else. So I was literally starting over at the age of 27. I had no job,car,furnature...etc. So,I was on the hunt for a job and a new church family. 

At first,it was very frustrating...you see,my parent's do not know The Lord. So,they didn't quite know how to react when I would say"I am asking for GOD's direction"...They were raised Catholic's and didn't understand that I was able to go straight to GOD in prayer. Catholic's believe you need a priest to talk to GOD.
Between them not understanding and me a very new Born-Again,Spirit filled Christian in a place where I knew no one, I had no choice but, to trust in The Lord. (Gee,is that why I moved there?)

I did finally find a job and bought a car to get me there and back. But, I could not find a church where I knew The Lord wanted me to be. My walk with Him was
now starting to get alittle weak, I needed Fellowship with other's who knew Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior.

Then I was blessed with a very good job that was very new to me. I was a waitress and bartender since I was sixteen. I was used to serving the public. I loved it, most of the time... But, this new job was too cool...I was now an electric assembler. I was being trained to build printed circuit boards,cables,and all different eletronic devices for a huge company. I started working the 3pm to 11pm shift. Which was a good thing because there are so many bars and clubs in this area where I could have spent my time. Still looking for a church every weekend and working all week. I started to ask where other's went to church. Most of them laughed or just looked at me strange.

Then I was asked if I wanted to go celebrate the contract the company just got...job security and all... I figured this could be the time to show them I was for real and didn't need the drinking, etc., in my life. BAD MISTAKE...
   For ten years I fell and I fell deep...right back into the drugs and drinking.Why, you may be asking? To be totally honest with you ...I don't know? But, I do know that GOD never left me...HE was always with me...calling my name...I just didn't answer HIM. I lived in total sin, knowing it was wrong, but, it was my decision. No one made me but, me!
    I was then transfered to another building for the same company. I was so unhappy,but, no one knew,I hid it well. Mainly with getting high or drunk to "FIT IN". (wasn't  I here before?) At the age of 35 still trying to fit in?????

             I was hurt at work a few times...physically. I had pulled some shoulder muscles,and then I got what is called "DeQervain". At this time in my (so called) walk with The Lord. I was attending a church and for some odd reason still not walking STRONG IN THE LORD. I was finally lead to go to a "Christian Counselor"
    Now, don't misunderstand me here...People try to help you...and I know they do mean well...anyway, I was again sent to a Psychiatrist...and yes I was right back where I seemed to have started in my walk with Jesus. Hmmm...
   I then was takin' out of my job because I was in too much pain and I literally couldn't use my hands. At home all alone I was givin' a computer. At first I was scared of the thing...Then I would play with it and see what it could do. On some very Strong Pain-killer's and up all the time. I was online 24/7. I figured out how to go into chatrooms and I would witnesss to other's about Jesus Christ!!!

In May 2000, I was in a chatroom typing away about Jesus, this Instant Message popped-up. This man wanted to talk privately about what I knew about The Lord. Now, some of you might question, "Can you  really lead a person to Jesus in a chatroom?" I answer you with a YES!!! I have and still do...GOD is GOD.

     So, we went into a private chatroom and started to become very good friends. We were both very hungry to know and walk as we needed to with God. We prayed for each other and helped each other learn Scripture. We got to the point where if one of us didn't come online at a certain time we would call each other to make sure everything was ok.

      One evening, Matthew didn't come online. So,I called him,as we were talking ,him and his brother-in-law were talking to each other inbetween our conversation. I asked "What the problem was?" Matthew told me," his brother-in-law and step-sister were truck driver's and in need of someone to watch their home,daughter and dogs while they were on the road."

     Without another thing said...I answerwed "I will". Matthew was not even suprised at my reply. We both knew ...without a doubt... I was to move there. I did the very next day. As I was driving here, I could hardly believe my eyes. I have no words to explain it...but, It looks just like the town I lived in Pa. There are mountians all around and even the name of the town "Blairsville,Ga.", is so similar to the town named...yes..."Blairsville,Pa." Now, do you really think GOD knows what HE is doing??? I had no idea what this new home  looked like,I just knew I was to move here. 

      I found a Home Church, and a new family. Only a month living here,Matthew saw how much pain I was in. I was still on the medications for pain and for the axniety attacks I was having. He sat me down and said,"I can not bare to see you in such pain any more. " He annointed me forehead with oil and prayed," Lord, You can heal her. In Jesus' Name. Amen." A simple prayer from a humble man,
GOD heard him,that instant I Was HEALED!!! I have had NO PAIN since then,it's been alittle over a year. Needless to say, I was still on the other medications for the depression I had. Again, Matthew said," Karen, if GOD healed you from the pain, then HE can heal you from this too."  We sat down Matthew anointed my head with oil and prayed," Lord, You healed Karen from the pain, I know You can take this depression from her too. In Jesus' Name Amen." I then went through a week of very strange feelings. We realized the medications I was taking were so strong that they numbed me. All 5 of my senses were slowly but, surely coming back. I can see,hear,touch,taste,and smell better.