marriage

The Impossible Made Possible

Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp stood at the altar and said vows to each other before God and family. Vows that they meant at that moment but vows that would be broken over the next nineteen years of their marriage.

They didn't start out with any thought of divorce but divorce is what happened after years of unfaithfulness in their marriage. For Charlyne it was her way of putting an end to all the hurt and pain she was feeling inside. For Bob it was the out that he wanted so that he could pursue his own desires.

They both knew about Jesus but what was about to unfold before them would bring them to a place of not just knowing about Him but entering into a relationship with Him that would bring hope and restoration to a situation that would otherwise be impossible.

For nineteen years Bob and Charlyne went through many trials. They separated nineteen times throughout those nineteen years. This was a marriage that no one held any hope for. Friends, family and even their brothers and sisters in Christ had given up all hope that they would stay together. Charlyne had come to the end and through the advice of many caring friends including her Pastor she filed for divorce. She was convinced that once the papers were signed that she would experience peace in her life. Instead she found she still had all the hurt and discouragement and pain that was there before. She found herself up at the altar almost every Sunday crying out to God for help.

In His faithfulness the Lord answered her prayers.

While attending a service one Sunday morning a couple testified of how God had restored their marriage. They shared about the covenant of marriage and what it meant to God and they offered help to those couples who were in a place of thinking their marriage was over. It was the first time that Charlyne heard a message that offered her hope for her hurts. It was also the first time that she was able to take responsibility for her role in the breakdown of the marriage.

That day she called Bob and asked him to attend the service that night as the couple was coming back to pray for couples. When she called him what she wound up saying surprised not only her but her ex-husband. She found herself asking him for forgiveness for her failures as a wife. She recognized that she had allowed bitterness, anger and resentment to build up in her through all those years but because she was so busy telling God everything that was wrong with Bob she never looked into her own heart. Now she was facing her own weaknesses and asking the man who had hurt her so much for his forgiveness.

On the other end of the phone call was Bob. He was with someone else now and here was his wife asking him to come to a service about restoration. What really amazed him though was that Charlyne was asking him for forgiveness. He declined her offer to attend the service but thought to himself "look at this, I am the one who has been a scoundrel all these years and she is asking me for forgiveness." Later as he drove to another church with his new friend they discussed the phone call in the car. As you can expect the other person was not thrilled about all of this but just shrugged it off. What neither one of them knew at the time was that this would be the beginning of their perfect little world being torn down and the first step of God in restoring a relationship between two very hurt people for His glory.

For the next two years Charlyne dedicated herself to the Lord. She committed to stand for her marriage no matter what was going on around her. She would pray daily for Bob and she would even pray for the other person involved. She would pray the Lord's will be done and she would pray Scriptures and put Bob's name in the verses. By now everyone thought she had lost her mind. They talked about Bob's free will, they told her every reason why their marriage could never be restored but Charlyne stood strong and refused to give up. She grew in her relationship with the Lord and made her relationship with Him the first priority in her life. She learned to trust in The Restorer and not in anyone else. She confessed to everyone that the Lord was bringing her husband home and whenever she did see Bob she would tell Him the Lord wanted him to come home and take his place as head of the household.

Bob was starting to feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit. He tried all he could to not hear that small voice inside of him that kept saying, "Go home to your wife." At one point he even went to Charlyne and asked her to please stop praying because he was never, never, never coming home. In the book of Proverbs we are told that a man plans his way but the Lord directs His steps. The Spirit of God was directing Bob's steps but his own plans didn't fit in with what the Lord was speaking to Him. He did all he could to avoid hearing the voice but the day came when he could no longer resist.

Charlyne was sitting in her office one day when she saw Bob approaching her place of business. All of her co-workers were aware of Charlyne's stand for her marriage so they were not too surprised to see him walk in although no one knew what was about to take place. Bob asked Charlyne to ask her boss if she could take an extended lunch hour and her boss agreed. They went to a restaurant and while they were sitting there Bob started asking for forgiveness for all of his wayward behavior. When he was done he said the words that Charlyne had waited two years to hear. He said, "Will you marry me?" I don't think that anyone but Charlyne and the Lord could really explain what happened in her heart at that moment. We can only imagine the joy that flooded her soul. Bob continued and said he didn't want to wait another day and so they left the restaurant and went to the church that Charlyne attended. There the same Pastor who had counseled her to file for the divorce remarried them right in his office. It was a day of true celebration and a day of Praise to Our Lord and Savior who took what the enemy meant for evil and turned it for good in their lives. It was a day that became the beginning of the Lord using them to minister to others who are having difficulty in their marriage, contemplating divorce and even to those who are already divorced. They have learned the faithfulness of God and to stand on His Word and they have learned that there is no other relationship more important than the one they have with Jesus Christ. They have learned that God honors the covenant of marriage and they have truly learned that nothing is impossible with Him.

Soon after their restoration Bob became ill and the prognosis was not good. Charlyne had learned to pray though and she learned how to hear from God and when the doctors pronounced their words over her husband she began to declare God's word over him. He was healed and now writes books and travels to encourage others in their stand for their marriage. Bob and Charlyne have been a great source of encouragement for me as I continue to stand for the complete restoration of my family. We have all learned that it is the thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy but that Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. Every week they testify of marriages being restored all over the world through the grace and mercy of Our Father in heaven and through the tenacity of those willing to stand for the one that every one else has given up on.

If you are having trouble in your marriage, if you need to know how to pray for a wayward spouse or even if you are divorced already and are seeking encouragement for your situation you can find help at the Steinkamp's website at:

http://www.rejoiceministeries.org

If you do not have access to a computer let me know and I will send you their mailing address. If you are a Pastor and would like to have the Steinkamp's come and minister at your church about the covenant of marriage you can also contact them through the website.

The Pastor who had counseled Charlyne to file for divorce and saw what God did in their lives now preaches and counsels restoration in his church. Their testimony has changed many lives and they have dedicated themselves to the Lord to be instruments of His grace and power in marriage relationships. They give all the glory and praise to Our Lord and serve him with a spirit of humility while standing against the very thing that God hates, Divorce!

Won't you join with us in Praising His Holy Name and thanking Him that we serve the God of the impossible!